8-27-03

Hayden,

I had a dream last night that you were here and that everything else was just a nightmare. I didn't want to wake up.

I know that everything has happened for a reason even though i still don't understand that reason. Sometimes I get so angry with Heavenly Father for taking you from me. Sometimes I wonder if you would have been happy here with Mommy and Daddy. We love you so much!

Love,
Mommy

8-15-03

Dearest Hayden,

Thank you so much for last night. I now know that your happy and that there are more children in our future. I don't know what I did to deserve to have such a perfect little boy.

Love,
Mommy

7-23-03

Dearest Hayden,

My sweet baby boy; life just isn;t very fair lately. First I loose you and now i'm worried that I might loose Grandma as well. She's having surgery today to remove some cancer. I don't think I can handle losing both of you so close together.

I miss you so much baby! If I just knew that you were okay, I wish I could see and hold you again. I still remember your face and especially your scent. I can't wait to see you again.

Mommy and Daddy are thinking about trying to have another baby. If there are any more babies for us please help them and protect them and tell them all about life here on earth.

Love,

Mommy

6-24-03

Dearest Hayden,

Today I really missed you! I've learned to just keep myself busy, so that I don't get too depressed.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of your sweet little face and how much you look like your daddy. Whenever I look at Daddy I see you, and it always seems to put me in a good mood.

Daddy has a new calling at church, he;s the Gospel Doctrine Teacher. Mommy of course is back in Primary.

We love you and miss you very much!

Love,
Mommy

6-10-03

Dearest Hayden,

It's been 3 months and 19 days since I losr you, since I last held you and kissed you. I miss your sweet face.

There are days when all I want to do is cry, and that's all I do. All I have to do is look at your sweet face and I remember all the happy times when I could feel you kicking.

I can't wait to hold you, love you, kiss you again. I'm trying so hard to be good so that I can see you again.

I know that Heavenly Father is taking good care of you; especially Heavenly Mother. I can't wait until the day when we are re-united as a family. We love you very much!

Love,
Mommy

Journal Entries

A few months after I Hayden returned to his Heavenly Father I started a journal. I'll be transcribing those entries over the next few days.

Balloons!

This year for Hayden's Birthday we started a new tradition. We sent him some balloons; one for every year he is old. This year we sent 8, it should have been 6 but Sage insisted we have green balloons in addition to the others because Hayden likes green.



Every year we dedicate that day to Hayden. We spend the day together as a family and have all sorts of fun!