Thursday, August 6, 2009

A Mother's Love

I ran across this article today from a few years ago and it made me think of Hayden, and I wanted to share it.

And read this article . . .
http://article.wn.com/view/2008/08/19/A_mothers_grief_Heartbroken_gorilla_cradles_her_dead_baby/

"Holding the lifeless body of her dead child like a rag doll, this female gorilla stares at the corpse in shock and bewilderment, unable to accept that her baby is dead. It is a picture of pure grief. Inconsolable, hers is the raw pain of any mother who has lost a child. While nature may indeed be red in tooth and claw, this moving image of Gana and her dead son Claudio seems to show that members of the animal kingdom can feel the pain of loss just as deeply as we humans. "

. . . and I realize that a mother is a mother. This gorilla mother is shown in this picture cradling her three month old son who had passed away from a suspected heart defect. The article reports that the mother carried her deceased child with her for weeks until she finally laid it down in an apparent acceptance of death. So, I ask this question . . . how different are we as mothers who grieve?

No, I am not going to go into an dissertation about the theory of evolution - or how closely related "they" say we are to monkeys. However, I don't think we are all that different . . . on a motherly level.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Sad Day

Today I ran across a few Blogs about other Angel Babies, and I was instantly sad and angry at the same time. Sad because they had pictures of their Babies and I don't. There are companies and or groups of photographers who go to hospitals and take pictures of the babies and thier families. Angry because as far as I knew nothing like this exisisted when we lost Hayden. I know it's not right for me to be angry but there are days when I go through so many feelings all at once.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Chirstmas with Jesus

"I see the countless Christmas Trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas Choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, but the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description to hear the Angels sing.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above,
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, “LOVE” is the gift more precious than pure gold,
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as our Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings or love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,
Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year."

Lullabies

I found this poem on a fellow Angel Mommies Blog and had to share it. It really touched me. It really helped me through a tough moment this morning.

Lullabies

Daddy, Please don't look so sad.Mama please don't cry-
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.
Please, try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you,and then he changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child,and I'm needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, and watch the sky each night,
Find the brightest start that's gleaming, that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze from a gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be there, planting a kiss on your nose
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a little tug
That's me, I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.
So, Daddy please don't look so sad. Mama don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.

Author~Claudette T. Allen

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Joseph & Emma Smith ~ Examples of Strength

I have been reading more and more lately about Joseph Smith. I am amazed at the strength of this man and even more so of his wife, Emma Smith. Not only did they sacrifice for the Church, but they lost many of they're children. I can't imagine how hard it was for them. I found this quote from him earlier this week, and it made me cry and realize the truth of what I've been told about Hayden many times.

"The Lord takes away many, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." ~ Joseph Smith

Monday, May 18, 2009

Surviving

I came across this poem today on a friends Blog. It fits perfectly!
My Mom Is a Survivor
My mom is a survivor,
Or so I’ve heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night
When all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night
And go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I’m with her
To help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach
That never wash away…
I watch over my surviving mom,
Who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others…
A smile of disguise!
But though Heaven’s door I see
Tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death
To keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her, knows
It is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom
Through Heaven’s open door…
I try to tell her that angels
Protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn’t help her…
Or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her…
And show her that you care.
For no matter what she says…
No matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart
That time won’t ever heal.
By Kaye Des’Ormeaux

Thursday, April 23, 2009

8-27-03

Hayden,

I had a dream last night that you were here and that everything else was just a nightmare. I didn't want to wake up.

I know that everything has happened for a reason even though i still don't understand that reason. Sometimes I get so angry with Heavenly Father for taking you from me. Sometimes I wonder if you would have been happy here with Mommy and Daddy. We love you so much!

Love,
Mommy