Halloween Wishes

Hayden,

Oh, how I wish you were here. Your Brother and Sister just realized that Halloween is next Saturday and they are over the moon excited. They tried on their costumes today to make sure that they fit and they ran around the house. Aurora is a Fairy and Sage is Spiderman(big surprise). I wish you were here to run around in your costume, I wonder what you would be.

Love, Mom

Baby Angel

I found this poem on a friends Blog and it touched my heart so I thought i'd share it with you.

Baby Angel

Don't let them say I wasn’t born,
that something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start,
Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn’t mean I’m gone
This world was not worthy of me,
God chose that I move on
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
what you are forced to face,
you have my word I'll fill my arms,
someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes
But that won't soften your worst blow,
or make your hearts not ache
I'm watching over all you do,
another child you will bear
Believe me when I say to you,
that I am always there.
There'll come a time, I promise you
When you will hold my hand,
stroke my face and kiss my lips
and then you will understand.
Although I have never breathed your air,
or gazed into your eyes,
that doesn't mean I 'never was'
Because an angel never dies....
Author Unkown

A Mother's Love

I ran across this article today from a few years ago and it made me think of Hayden, and I wanted to share it.

And read this article . . .
http://article.wn.com/view/2008/08/19/A_mothers_grief_Heartbroken_gorilla_cradles_her_dead_baby/

"Holding the lifeless body of her dead child like a rag doll, this female gorilla stares at the corpse in shock and bewilderment, unable to accept that her baby is dead. It is a picture of pure grief. Inconsolable, hers is the raw pain of any mother who has lost a child. While nature may indeed be red in tooth and claw, this moving image of Gana and her dead son Claudio seems to show that members of the animal kingdom can feel the pain of loss just as deeply as we humans. "

. . . and I realize that a mother is a mother. This gorilla mother is shown in this picture cradling her three month old son who had passed away from a suspected heart defect. The article reports that the mother carried her deceased child with her for weeks until she finally laid it down in an apparent acceptance of death. So, I ask this question . . . how different are we as mothers who grieve?

No, I am not going to go into an dissertation about the theory of evolution - or how closely related "they" say we are to monkeys. However, I don't think we are all that different . . . on a motherly level.

Sad Day

Today I ran across a few Blogs about other Angel Babies, and I was instantly sad and angry at the same time. Sad because they had pictures of their Babies and I don't. There are companies and or groups of photographers who go to hospitals and take pictures of the babies and thier families. Angry because as far as I knew nothing like this exisisted when we lost Hayden. I know it's not right for me to be angry but there are days when I go through so many feelings all at once.

Chirstmas with Jesus

"I see the countless Christmas Trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like heaven’s stars, reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear,
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can’t compare with the Christmas Choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, but the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description to hear the Angels sing.

I send you each a special gift from my heavenly home above,
I send you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, “LOVE” is the gift more precious than pure gold,
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as our Father said to do,
For I can’t count the blessings or love He has for you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear,
Remember, I’m spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year."

Lullabies

I found this poem on a fellow Angel Mommies Blog and had to share it. It really touched me. It really helped me through a tough moment this morning.

Lullabies

Daddy, Please don't look so sad.Mama please don't cry-
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.
Please, try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think he sent me to you,and then he changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child,and I'm needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, and watch the sky each night,
Find the brightest start that's gleaming, that's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers, I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze from a gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be there, planting a kiss on your nose
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a little tug
That's me, I'll be there, giving your heart a hug.
So, Daddy please don't look so sad. Mama don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies.

Author~Claudette T. Allen

Joseph & Emma Smith ~ Examples of Strength

I have been reading more and more lately about Joseph Smith. I am amazed at the strength of this man and even more so of his wife, Emma Smith. Not only did they sacrifice for the Church, but they lost many of they're children. I can't imagine how hard it was for them. I found this quote from him earlier this week, and it made me cry and realize the truth of what I've been told about Hayden many times.

"The Lord takes away many, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." ~ Joseph Smith